I've been too emotional lately.
Blame the hormones!

Yesterday, on the hospital, i saw a mom missed her 2yo daughter. She cried, she looked for her anywhere, and when finally she found her she looked so relief.
i got teary eyes when i saw it. I didn't know why.
I saw a truly mother's love to her child.

Today
I've been too emotional because i can't help both my parents medical condition. My dad is having BPH and he's now complaining a hernia scortalis. My mom, i don't know what she's having now, but it's gynecology problem.
I hate it. I do as nice and understanding as to my patients, But i can't do that to my parents. I'm trying to give and understand at my best for the patients, but i can't to my parents.
I hate it.
I want to be there for my parents, but I can't.
Plus, I've been doubting myself, do i really want to be a doctor. do i want to live this kind of life.

And it's getting emotional today when I know the patient who i follow-her-up died last night. She's just 17!! But she's having cancer. I read on the literature, her cancer have good prognosis. With operation and responsive radiotherapy, evidence said she'll survive. I don't know whether she was having different type of cancer. But she was in pain for months, and she was bleeding since 2years ago and the bleeding getting worse from 7 months ago. Rest in peace, Ms. M. Hope Allah be with you.